💫 Love, Law & the Golden Coins: Inside Iran's Secret Matchmaking Revolution
In a country where love must walk a fine line with the law, a quiet revolution is unfolding.
In Iran, sex outside of marriage is illegal—yet more than half the population under 35 remains unmarried. This has become a pressing concern for the government, which is now taking a surprisingly modern step: running an Islamic online dating service called The Tebyan Institute.
🧕 When Religion Meets Romance
The Islamic Republic of Iran isn’t the first place you'd associate with digital matchmaking, but this platform—run with full state approval—has already facilitated over 250 marriages in a year. However, this isn’t Tinder. There are no profile pictures, passion is seen as a red flag, and parents are expected to join the first meeting. Psychologists even coach couples before the wedding.
Meet Reza and Gisa, one of the site’s success stories. They're engaged, attending sessions with psychologists, and learning that in Iran, "love at first sight" is considered dangerous. According to matchmakers and counselors, compatibility based on family, education, and religious values far outweighs emotional chemistry.
💸 Earn Money
🧕 The Age-Old Army of Matchmakers
Behind the digital front lies a vast network of traditional matchmakers, most of whom work for free—seeing their work as a religious good deed. One such legendary figure, Maleheh Moqam, runs her agency with pride. She even has a “Dower Room” stocked with donations—everything from sewing machines to shoes—for young couples starting life together.
🎓 Educating the Heart: Love in the Classroom
Even universities in Tehran now run compulsory marriage courses, teaching students the significance of choosing partners who align with religious and cultural values. But students like Saba Lotfi, a conservative accountancy student, face a dilemma: she wants romance and spiritual compatibility—but refuses to date casually.
For her, and many others, it’s a tightrope walk between tradition and desire.
💍 The Price of Love: Gold, Honor, and Negotiation
Meet Ali and Zahra, a young couple deeply in love. Though they've kept their relationship pure before marriage, they face a new challenge: Bale Boroun—the traditional negotiation where families decide if the marriage will go forward.
Zahra’s parents demand 114 gold coins (worth ~£23,000) as Mehrieh, a marital safety net for women. Ali offers 14. Emotions boil over, and after 4 hours of intense negotiation, cameras are turned off.
The young lovers must wait as the final decision lies in their elders’ hands.
📸 A Society in Transition
Despite the restrictions, young Iranians hang out, take Instagram photos, and go on group outings—a subtle rebellion against cultural constraints. While forbidden topics like alcohol-fueled parties and premarital intimacy are not discussed openly, social life among youth in cities like Tehran is more vibrant—and complicated—than outsiders assume.
Many young Iranians feel trapped between two worlds: the expectations of Islam, and the seductions of Western culture. Their identities, just like their hearts, are pulled in different directions.
💌 A Love That Defied All Odds
A week later, the final message arrived: Ali and Zahra were married.
It was a triumph—not just of love, but of compromise, tradition, faith, and resilience.
✨ Final Thought
In Iran, falling in love isn’t just about emotions—it's about navigating a labyrinth of religious expectations, family honor, and cultural rituals. But as more youth push back gently against norms, a new definition of love and marriage may slowly be rewriting Iran’s romantic rulebook.